Feeling at home here didn’t mean entirely dropping and leaving my life behind, rather being removed from the stories of the lives of previous relationships.
After living in the United States for some time and being more observant than interactive, I noticed and experienced a lot of culture shock. What might seem like everyday situations to someone living in the U.S. for many years or their entire life can, in fact, seem shocking to someone who is a newcomer. Among these new things that I have come to really appreciate is an emphasis on mental health. People here openly talk about stress,trauma, and emotions. Therapy is normalized and not hidden or ignored which encourages development of a better version of yourself.
Young people often live with their parents until adulthood while both attending school and working, but in America young people are expected to be independent and take care of themselves mostly in their late teenage years before they head off to college or full-time jobs. This promotes a sense of responsibility and accountability for their future though this idea is uncommon in African households. I think of it as a level of freedom that is exciting but scary because of the pressure to grow up and mature quickly. Young people are no longer guided by family decisions, but by their own decisions, because the choices they make will give first-hand information and experience. Young people get to decide what is fit or not for them.
In America identity is open and young people are encouraged to explore their beliefs, question the culture and traditions, and express themselves as they choose. I see this expressed in fashion, religion and lifestyle choices. Being “different” is not criticized, rather encouraged. To Africans your identity is the one that your parents pass on to you and as these are the beliefs and traditions that are meant to guide you through your lifetime.
Another unexpected experience is how friendly strangers can be. People often greet each other and give compliments. People often smile and offer help. These small gestures can positively impact a person’s mood during the day. Greetings are mostly given to elders by the younger people because it is viewed as an important form of respect as we were taught as kids. The difficult part is engaging in small talk where you literally have a conversation with someone as they are walking away. It is hard for me to adjust because I am used to stopping, listening, replying to someone and then leaving when the conversation is done.
Shopping is also one of the things that are so different compared to back home. That is to say taxes are not included on price tags, you can only see the tax on the receipt after purchasing it. I found this out the hard way when I went shopping and had a rough estimate of what I was going to spend and ended up exceeding the budget.
Feeling at home at the end of the day doesn’t happen overnight; it’s all about finding comfort in unfamiliar places and surroundings. Though it’s been slow and very awkward, it has improved my patience and changed my views on a lot of things. I do miss home most of the time, but a small laugh or even a snack makes me feel lighter.
